Imagine
a big bitch who talks like a comatose drone with a feeding tube down her throat
and who sits like a grossly overweight Cleopatra waiting for manna to come
down.
Keep
on guessing who the bitch is.
It’s
none other than Cristy Fermin.
First
of all, she’s a thieving devil who manages to rip celebrities off by
threatening to make them the subjects of her blind items on the tabloid Bulgar.
She manages to take tens and hundreds of thousands by way of her threats. She
scares the hell out of many people because she’s a cavalier, good-for-nothing
mercenary who’s just as good as Satan. Actors and other celebrities who cannot
comply with her are doomed to be fodder for her cheap, grammatically atrocious
blind items. The sponsors of her radio program “Cristy Perminute” are likewise
gypped by this Medusa incarnate.
Forgive
me for insulting the Filipino language, but Cristy can’t pull off a Lope K.
Santos, an Aurelio Tolentino, or even a Francisco Balagtas. She tries so hard
to come across as a Filipino linguist yet she fails miserably. However, she can
still be considered a linguist because she uses her tongue often to perform
fellatio (and even do so with cunnilingus, if her dentures are quite durable).
Her use of the words “kata”, “kita”, “datapwat”, and “sapagkat”, among others,
are so obsolescent that even Dr. Jose Perez of Sampaguita Pictures and Donya
Sisang de Leon of LVN Pictures- coupled with Mrs. Emilia Blas of Lea Productions- are
going to rise from their graves and pull her down to damnation, where she
belongs.
Cristy
Fermin is such a promiscuous twat. She has had one-night stands and/or affairs
with straight men, gay men, bisexual men, lesbians, and even straight women.
The bitch even managed to perform cunnilingus on a sexy actress at her
now-defunct Mariposa Publications (which should have been Merry-Pussy or
Mariang Pakakak Publications) and managed to give away her child’s brass bed to
one of her boy toys, who turned out to be bisexual.
The
cunt has had so many shows on TV that one could think that she is either a hot
item or an entity notorious for being a jinx. Since the time she became part of
TV5, Cristy Fermin has been unsuccessful in gaining advertisers for her show.
Her blind items are rehashed and blatant that, no wonder, she tends to become a
fodder for libel lawsuits. There was even a time when Eddie Gutierrez and
Annabelle Rama-Gutierrez sued the kitsch bitch for libel when the latter
defamed the couple’s daughter Ruffa Gutierrez. Thus, many people are mad at
Cristy Fermin for being more pugnacious (and huger and uglier) than a
rhinoceros on steroids.
We
have a mnemonic for Cristy:
P
- romiscuous
U
- nforgivable
T
– ramp-like
A
- rrogant
N
- uisance
G
– ung-ho (or gung-whore?)
I
- nsolent
N
- incompoop
A
- rbitrary
M
– oney-hungry
O
- bnoxious
